I think so many of us mistake healing for never being hurt again, when sometimes it's simply learning to meet those old wounds with greater compassion. Thank you for such an honest reflection. X
Thank you for sharing your story, Sara. I can relate as I had many moments like this in my healing journey.
The person who said that, was possibly (hopefully), unintentionally being mean. That said, they were not talking about you now, they were talking about a past version of you.
‘Maybe letting them come was part of healing’. I think this whole episode was part of your healing. I wonder if their words touched a limiting belief that was still waiting to be released? They just opened the floodgates as it were.
For whatever reason, this person was expressing their perspective. That does not make it a fact. Even if it was true then, is it true now?
I am interested to read part 2, Sara, and I will comment further then.❤️🤗
Thanks so much Sue, for reading and for sharing your reflections. ❤️ Thinking about it now, yes, it was definitely part of the healing process. And I think that’s the thing with old beliefs and old wounds. They can become so cemented into our internal language that finally trusting the evidence in front of us now, and rewriting what we came to believe about ourselves, takes time.
And your question, “Even if it was true then, is it true now?” really made me think. If by that we mean being sensitive, then yes. I still consider myself a highly sensitive person. I feel things deeply, and I’m learning to integrate that as part of who I am. As long as it isn’t leading me to hurt other people, I don’t think it’s something I need to get rid of. So yes, that part is still true. But am I ashamed of it and trying to hide it now? No. And I think that’s where the change is.
I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts on the second part too. Thanks Sue. 💕🤗
I’d be happy for you to use it Sue 💕 Thank you for aksing. And I love that you’re writing a book about alignment. I’d be really interested to see how you connect the story to what you’re exploring.
Soo inspiring and truee. I think you’re truly challenged on how much you love yourself when those old beliefs, people, or situations arise in your life again. Which side will you choose?
More often than not, I tend to choose others over myself, and it always hurts, just like you said. It’s kind of comforting to know that other people experience this too.
Thank you for sharing this 💕 I think one of the shifts for me has been noticing that I can care about someone else’s feelings without automatically making them more important than my own. That still takes practice.
What a beautiful piece Sara. Thank you for sharing your heart with us❤️🤗!
As someone who has always been called "too much", not just as a child, I deeply relate. It took me decades to understand and integrate that my depth was never the problem. Those around just felt uncomfortable looking in the mirror I held.
Also, that version of us - the one still carrying the open wound - she's been patiently waiting for us to come home. To wrap her in self-love, listen to what she has to say, turn to her - look her in the eyes and say I GOT YOU! Self-love is staying with the body that's moving a wave. One moment of presence at a time. Again and again.
Thank you Ioana 💕 I really relate to what you said about needing to turn towards that part of ourselves rather than away from it. I think that’s what I was missing for so long. I knew how to look after myself when things were fine, but not how to stay with myself when I was hurting.
“What I had not learned was how to stay on my own side.”
That feels like the heart of this piece. Self-love is easy to recognise when it resembles care; far harder when it asks us to honour our hurt without turning against ourselves.
I write at The Reflective State, where one of my ongoing series is Mountain Mysteries—atmospheric tales of mystery, folklore and the unexplained set in the mountains of India.
If curiosity ever brings you my way, I'd genuinely love to know what you think.
Thank you so much Siddhartha. I really appreciate this, and I’m so glad that line stood out to you. Your Mountain Mysteries series sounds fascinating too. I’ll definitely come and have a read 💕
“Only later did I understand why the comment had reached so far beyond that room. It seemed to confirm an old belief I had been carrying for years: that I was hard to love.”
It’s when we hear something from others that hits the delicate nerve of the things we’ve always believed about ourselves that causes us to spiral and get stuck in the thing we haven’t worked through. Once we recognize why it feels so painful, we can continue doing the work of moving through it. It's so beautiful that you're learning how to be there for yourself when something or someone pinches that nerve.
I think that’s exactly what I’m learning. Understanding where the reaction comes from doesn’t necessarily stop it from hurting, but it does give me a chance to respond differently instead of immediately making the pain mean something is wrong with me.
Thank you Lisa 💕 I really appreciate that. I think being able to name what’s happening helps me catch myself a little earlier, before I get pulled back into the same old reaction.
I can relate to your experience on so many levels.
I recently wrote a post about how I went from 0 to 180 anger within just seconds after reading a text from my mom... haha
On the surface level... it was an "ordinary" text with things she'd normally say...
but this time... I think the guilt, shame, anger I had held inside for decades didn't want to be stuffed down anymore
it took me several days & weeks to process through the wound that got brought to the surface... but I realized... that "reaction" i had... was a "growth spurt" :D
A response where my inner self no longer wanted to stay quiet... or to pretend that what she said didn't didn't matter...
Perhaps... those "tantrum" that we perceive in ourselves... are really just the parts of us that are ready to grow out of the "easy to love," "good girl" container that we have put ourselves in for a loong time...
We're growing out of the old versions of ourselves so beautifully, Sara!! :D yee!! haha
Haha, “growing out of the good girl container” is such a good way to put it 😂💕 I think there can be a stage where the feelings get louder because we’re no longer willing to keep making ourselves easy for everyone else. But I also think the more we practise listening to and trusting ourselves, the less they need to shout. We start validating and protecting ourselves from within, our boundaries become clearer, and we know our worth.
And maybe it doesn’t even become a “new” version of us. It’s more like the version that was buried under all that conditioning finally gets more room to come out.
'What I had not learned was how to stay on my own side when something brought that old belief back.' Wow! 💖 You've given me a lot of food for thought. Thanks so much for sharing this; it moved me and brought up some memories that I'm now viewing in a different light.
Thank you, Kay 💕 I’m really glad it gave you a different way to look at some of those memories. I think so many past moments can look different once we stop judging ourselves only by how we reacted and start asking what we were actually needing at the time.
I think so many of us mistake healing for never being hurt again, when sometimes it's simply learning to meet those old wounds with greater compassion. Thank you for such an honest reflection. X
Thank you Claire. I agree. Expecting ourselves not to feel the hurt again can become another way of turning against ourselves when it returns. 💕
Thank you for sharing your story, Sara. I can relate as I had many moments like this in my healing journey.
The person who said that, was possibly (hopefully), unintentionally being mean. That said, they were not talking about you now, they were talking about a past version of you.
‘Maybe letting them come was part of healing’. I think this whole episode was part of your healing. I wonder if their words touched a limiting belief that was still waiting to be released? They just opened the floodgates as it were.
For whatever reason, this person was expressing their perspective. That does not make it a fact. Even if it was true then, is it true now?
I am interested to read part 2, Sara, and I will comment further then.❤️🤗
Thanks so much Sue, for reading and for sharing your reflections. ❤️ Thinking about it now, yes, it was definitely part of the healing process. And I think that’s the thing with old beliefs and old wounds. They can become so cemented into our internal language that finally trusting the evidence in front of us now, and rewriting what we came to believe about ourselves, takes time.
And your question, “Even if it was true then, is it true now?” really made me think. If by that we mean being sensitive, then yes. I still consider myself a highly sensitive person. I feel things deeply, and I’m learning to integrate that as part of who I am. As long as it isn’t leading me to hurt other people, I don’t think it’s something I need to get rid of. So yes, that part is still true. But am I ashamed of it and trying to hide it now? No. And I think that’s where the change is.
I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts on the second part too. Thanks Sue. 💕🤗
I love your awareness, Sara. I am highly sensitive and it is nothing we need to hide. I am happy you don’t.
I have just started writing a book about alignment and your story fits really well with my message. I wonder if I could use it, anonymously of course?
Feel free to say no. 💕
I’d be happy for you to use it Sue 💕 Thank you for aksing. And I love that you’re writing a book about alignment. I’d be really interested to see how you connect the story to what you’re exploring.
Thank you so much. I will keep you informed 💕
Soo inspiring and truee. I think you’re truly challenged on how much you love yourself when those old beliefs, people, or situations arise in your life again. Which side will you choose?
More often than not, I tend to choose others over myself, and it always hurts, just like you said. It’s kind of comforting to know that other people experience this too.
Thank you for sharing ✨
Thank you for sharing this 💕 I think one of the shifts for me has been noticing that I can care about someone else’s feelings without automatically making them more important than my own. That still takes practice.
What a beautiful piece Sara. Thank you for sharing your heart with us❤️🤗!
As someone who has always been called "too much", not just as a child, I deeply relate. It took me decades to understand and integrate that my depth was never the problem. Those around just felt uncomfortable looking in the mirror I held.
Also, that version of us - the one still carrying the open wound - she's been patiently waiting for us to come home. To wrap her in self-love, listen to what she has to say, turn to her - look her in the eyes and say I GOT YOU! Self-love is staying with the body that's moving a wave. One moment of presence at a time. Again and again.
Very much looking forward to part two.
Thank you Ioana 💕 I really relate to what you said about needing to turn towards that part of ourselves rather than away from it. I think that’s what I was missing for so long. I knew how to look after myself when things were fine, but not how to stay with myself when I was hurting.
“What I had not learned was how to stay on my own side.”
That feels like the heart of this piece. Self-love is easy to recognise when it resembles care; far harder when it asks us to honour our hurt without turning against ourselves.
Vulnerable. Insightful. Compassionate. I'M SUBSCRIBING!
I write at The Reflective State, where one of my ongoing series is Mountain Mysteries—atmospheric tales of mystery, folklore and the unexplained set in the mountains of India.
If curiosity ever brings you my way, I'd genuinely love to know what you think.
Thank you so much Siddhartha. I really appreciate this, and I’m so glad that line stood out to you. Your Mountain Mysteries series sounds fascinating too. I’ll definitely come and have a read 💕
Such a powerful reminder that self-love also means staying on our own side when we’re hurting. 🤎
Thanks Steena. Yea true 💕
Such a beautiful piece, Sara!
“Only later did I understand why the comment had reached so far beyond that room. It seemed to confirm an old belief I had been carrying for years: that I was hard to love.”
It’s when we hear something from others that hits the delicate nerve of the things we’ve always believed about ourselves that causes us to spiral and get stuck in the thing we haven’t worked through. Once we recognize why it feels so painful, we can continue doing the work of moving through it. It's so beautiful that you're learning how to be there for yourself when something or someone pinches that nerve.
Thank you so much Lisa 💕
I think that’s exactly what I’m learning. Understanding where the reaction comes from doesn’t necessarily stop it from hurting, but it does give me a chance to respond differently instead of immediately making the pain mean something is wrong with me.
And I can tell through your words, Sara, that you've been working hard to notice and name the pain, and then respond differently. Amazing work!
Thank you Lisa 💕 I really appreciate that. I think being able to name what’s happening helps me catch myself a little earlier, before I get pulled back into the same old reaction.
👏❤️
This is so beautifully written, Sara!
Thank you so much for sharing this so openly!
I can relate to your experience on so many levels.
I recently wrote a post about how I went from 0 to 180 anger within just seconds after reading a text from my mom... haha
On the surface level... it was an "ordinary" text with things she'd normally say...
but this time... I think the guilt, shame, anger I had held inside for decades didn't want to be stuffed down anymore
it took me several days & weeks to process through the wound that got brought to the surface... but I realized... that "reaction" i had... was a "growth spurt" :D
A response where my inner self no longer wanted to stay quiet... or to pretend that what she said didn't didn't matter...
Perhaps... those "tantrum" that we perceive in ourselves... are really just the parts of us that are ready to grow out of the "easy to love," "good girl" container that we have put ourselves in for a loong time...
We're growing out of the old versions of ourselves so beautifully, Sara!! :D yee!! haha
Haha, “growing out of the good girl container” is such a good way to put it 😂💕 I think there can be a stage where the feelings get louder because we’re no longer willing to keep making ourselves easy for everyone else. But I also think the more we practise listening to and trusting ourselves, the less they need to shout. We start validating and protecting ourselves from within, our boundaries become clearer, and we know our worth.
And maybe it doesn’t even become a “new” version of us. It’s more like the version that was buried under all that conditioning finally gets more room to come out.
'What I had not learned was how to stay on my own side when something brought that old belief back.' Wow! 💖 You've given me a lot of food for thought. Thanks so much for sharing this; it moved me and brought up some memories that I'm now viewing in a different light.
Thank you, Kay 💕 I’m really glad it gave you a different way to look at some of those memories. I think so many past moments can look different once we stop judging ourselves only by how we reacted and start asking what we were actually needing at the time.